How I became a Healer


Transcribed from a Facebook live in May 2019.

Why did I become a healer? How did this life path happen for me?

Well, it's really, really, really simple - pain!

Pain, pain, pain, pain, and then some more pain.

I'm a Gemini - there are so many things I could have done in this world, so many interests that I have. I'm interested in really thoughtful investigative journalism. I'm interested in making a real difference in the world, perhaps in some form of politics. I'm interested in fashion design and the relationship between the inside and the outside. I mean, I could go on and on with all the things I could have done.

Did you know I was a trader on Bay Street for 15 years?

There was too much pain, pain leaking out all over the place. The circumstances of my life, over and over and over again, to the point where I was in so much pain, I was recreating the pain because that's all I knew. I realized that either I completely schitz out with all the vices that you can even imagine or I face the pain.

That is the choice I am attempting to make every day and I have to say, I'm not trying that hard anymore, it's pretty natural. I have come through this journey into a place I never thought I could be. A place of really thriving that has nothing to do with the external circumstances.

It's pain that brought me on this journey and pain has been an incredible teacher, an incredible teacher.

For me, the deep work started with yoga and then with psychotherapy as a client. I found a therapist who was kind and interested in me and helped me sort through all the things that were happening. Yoga helped me come into my body and start to be aware of the sensations and the thoughts that were happening that were not me. They were just thinking and sensations, but I'm more than that and I started to have this contemplative experience of what it actually means to be human and that I'm not defined by only the pain.

What's so interesting to me is that everybody's path is completely different. I started with yoga and then psychotherapy. People start in all different kinds of ways.

For me, the path of healing has been to come into my body to feel present and here, grounded. It's about enjoying myself, it's about having fun, having pleasure, enjoying my body. It's about liking what I see in the mirror and appreciating myself inside and out. Healing has been about honest relationships, relationships where I can say what I feel and hear what another person feels and we can both have our experiences.

Healing has been about finding work that's creative and meaningful and The Cove is a big part of that, expanding what I do in the world in a creative way and in a way that I believe makes an impact. Having a sense of purpose and being connected to that was something I was missing for a long, long, long time.

The other piece of healing for me has been to let go of the assumptions and conditioning, all the things that I was taught that I should be, things I thought I should do, things that I thought marked success in life. I mean, these are for sure going to create pain because we're not going to have all of them and they're not going to be perfect. As I've been able to let go of those things and live naturally, and enjoy life as it is, it has been tremendously rewarding.

For me that's the work of healing and I've ended up throwing all my life force energy towards it. Learning and experiencing everything I can in all different modalities, learning about how a human being changes, how a human being takes challenging circumstances and thrives inside of them, because we tend to externalize everything and say. “I want this to be better and this to be better and this to be better then I'm going to be happy.”

I've actually come to experience, that the external is pretty irrelevant. Not that we don't long for things, the right relationships in family and home and work, but it's the inner orientation that determines happiness. When people used to say that to me, I was like - that's bullshit! No, It really is true.

Through all of this, I have come to share a lot with others. To be a psychotherapist myself and to accompany others on this journey because I understand something about what it means to put oneself back together again. I really value the clients who give me the opportunity to do that with them and to be with them as they blossom, as they grieve. All the things that are involved in a human journey.

The Cove is an expansion of the decades of work I've done on myself, also an expansion of my private practice, which I've had for almost a decade now. I believe that it's not just psychotherapy that heals. There is so much more that I've discovered in my journey, for the body, mind, heart and soul and so I'm putting together an A-team of practitioners. The universe has attracted some incredible people to The Cove and my vision is that people can get really deep healing by being here.

I hired someone from Task Rabbit to come and help me assemble IKEA furniture at The Cove, and he spent a little bit of time at The Cove feeling the energy and he said, "this is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful place. It's going to help many people." He says, " I know that this place was born of a lot of tears on your pillow." It's true, it's absolutely true. The Cove was born of a lot of pain, of a lot of tears. Beautiful, beautiful things can come from tears.

That's my vision for The Cove. It's a place where people can come and cry and let it all out and begin to feel better. It's a place where you can come and really be yourself, whatever that looks like. I don't have a plan for how your journey should look or how anybody's journey should look. I do think a place where you can be exactly who you are is valuable to each of us on our journey. Every journey is different and exactly how it should be.

Soon I'm going to be talking to you about a very special program called Salacia healing, which is a two week intense transformational experience where all of the different layers, physical, mental, emotional, spiritual are going to be addressed and massive transformation can take place. For those people who are looking for massive transformation, stay tuned for that.

I encourage you to come to one of our Friday night events, happening every Friday except the long weekends. We have, movement, meditation, breath work, and sound healing. Something experiential to help you come into yourself and you'll have a chance to see the space or you can book a session with one of our amazing practitioners. We have acupuncture, naturopathic medicine, emotional bodywork, mindfulness meditation classes, psychotherapy and spiritual healing.

The Cove Healing Events

Alison Crosthwait